Your Boyfriend Bought A House Without Telling You – What It Means


It’s the moment no girl wants to experience: my boyfriend bought a house without telling me!

It can be hurtful when your partner of several years makes major life decisions without involving you.

In this post, we’ll discuss what it could mean when your boyfriend buys a house without telling you.

And how to deal with it.

Let’s begin.

What it means when your boyfriend of two years buys a house without involving you


When I started dating my boyfriend (now husband), he shared a place with a friend.

Then he decided to move out and find his own place so we could have some privacy.

As minor as renting an apartment is, my boyfriend involved me in the search.

We checked several places until we found one we were both okay with.

And also, when we decided to move into a bigger apartment before our daughter was born, we looked for places together.

We still do house viewing together because we won’t keep each other out of significant life decisions.

And that’s because we value each other’s ideas.

So here are possible reasons why your boyfriend bought a house without telling you:

He doesn’t value your ideas.

First, he doesn’t think your ideas are worth considering.

Because if he did, he would tell you he’s buying a place and wants you to give your opinions.

And also, because you’d be staying or maybe living together, he would consider your comfort.

But he doesn’t care if the place fits you or not.

He doesn’t care if you like the place or not.

As long as he likes it, that’s what matters.

And that is messed up for a boyfriend to do.

He thinks you don’t have a say because it’s not your money

Another reason your boyfriend bought a house without telling you is that he thinks you don’t have a say since you’re not paying for it.

That is another load of B.S.

If you are your man’s priority, he will tell and involve you in his plans even if you aren’t contributing money.

But clearly, this guy has put his money before you.

And he only values your opinion when you’re bringing money to the table.

Side note: never buy a house with a boyfriend or girlfriend you have no plans to marry.

Because what happens when you break up?

But it doesn’t mean you should exclude them from the house viewing and decision-making.

Please read The legal rights of unmarried couples living together

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He doesn’t see you in his future.

When a guy sees you in his future, he consults you before making major decisions like buying a home.

So this guy probably doesn’t see himself with you in the future.

That’s why he was comfortable buying a home without telling you.

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He’s not a good partner.

A man that makes decisions without telling his partner isn’t a good partner.

If he can buy a home without telling you, who knows what he’ll do in the future?

He might be good in other areas, but good partners involve each other in significant decision-making.

What to do when your partner buys a house without telling you

Talk about it

You can talk to him about his decision to buy a home without consulting you.

Then hear what he has to say.

If your boyfriend is reasonable and knows he messed up by not involving you, he would be apologetic.

And would try to make it up to you.

He might tell you to choose the house decor and include you in the process.

But a jerk would act like it’s not a big deal he got a house without telling you.

This takes us to the next point.

Ask him about your future.

If he acts like he did nothing wrong buying a home without you, ask him about your future.

Does he still see you in his future?

He needs to tell you where you stand with him.

Because honestly, if he doesn’t see this as a big deal, he can make more major decisions in the future without you.


Reevaluate your relationship – do you want someone that doesn’t involve you in major decisions?

The next thing to do is reevaluate your relationship.

Is this the attitude you want from a partner you’ll spend the rest of your life with?

If you can live with someone who doesn’t need you to make major decisions, maybe stick with him.

But if you want to feel needed and valued by your partner, especially regarding life-changing decisions, this might not be the guy for you.

So what can you do?

Consider breaking up with him.


Nobody wants a jerk for a partner.

If your partner thinks it’s not a big deal that he bought a house without telling you, you can break up with him.

Your partner doesn’t have to take everything you say, and vice versa.

But two people that want to be together always value each other’s viewpoint.

You learn from and inspire each other to grow.

But you shouldn’t be together if your partner feels you add no value to their life.


Find someone who wants the same things and values your ideas

Moving forward, find someone who wants the same things.

Stop dating people who string you along and isolate you when making tough decisions.

You’ll be happier when you and your partner value each other’s opinions.


So that’s my take on what it means and what to do when your boyfriend buys a house without telling you.

If you find this post helpful, please share it.

Thanks for reading.

See you in the next one.

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