He Doesn’t Want Marriage After Five Years – Should I Leave Him?
You might be wondering why wouldn’t he marry me after five years.
Should you leave him?
Should you stay and change his mind?
This post will discuss what to do if he doesn’t want marriage after five years.
Let’s begin.
Why won’t he marry me after 5 years? 4 reasons
Before we get into the post, let’s discuss why he doesn’t want marriage after five years of dating.
1. You both assumed you wanted the same things.
Most of us go into relationships assuming we want the same things.
So maybe you assumed he wanted marriage and kids.
And because you’ve been together for several years, he assumed you just wanted a long-term relationship.
That’s why it’s best to discuss these things at the beginning.
2. You knew he never wanted marriage but stayed anyway
It’s possible your guy must have said or shown he doesn’t want marriage.
But you ignored the signs.
And stayed with him.
Hoping he would change his mind.
And got carried away, not seeing the years creeping by.
3. He’s afraid of commitment
After dating you for five years, it wouldn’t make sense to say he’s afraid of commitment.
But maybe he’s scared of commitment at the marriage level.
And with how society has turned, maybe he’s scared of divorce and all the drama involved.
That’s why he doesn’t want to get married.
4. He wants to marry someone else.
I’m checking several possible reasons he doesn’t want to get married.
So maybe he found someone else he prefers to marry.
Or maybe he didn’t.
What to do when he doesn’t want marriage after five years
Break up and move out
If he doesn’t want marriage, please break up with him and move out.
It would be challenging, especially as you’ve been living together for years.
But you’ll be okay.
Heal
I always suggest you cry it out.
Don’t hold back the feelings.
They’d only make it harder to deal with the breakup.
And make sure to forgive him and yourself.
Move on
Take one day at a time to move on.
You don’t have to start any relationship yet.
But get comfortable with being without your ex.
Hang out with your friends.
Live your life and be happy.
Please don’t stay friends when he doesn’t want marriage.
Many people act like you must be friends with your exes.
No, you don’t have to stay friends with your ex.
From experience, staying friends with an ex always end up with one person getting hurt.
And…
Don’t repeat the same mistake.
Moving on, please don’t make the same mistakes.
Maybe you attract unserious guys.
Check what you prioritize when dating guys.
And maybe change it up.
5 Reasons to leave him if he doesn’t want to marry you
First, you don’t need to date a guy for five years to know if he wants to marry you.
Usually, couples can tell if they want to marry each other within six months to a year.
Here are reasons to leave a guy who doesn’t want to marry you after dating for over five years.
1. You want different things.
Since he’s said he doesn’t want marriage, it’s clear you both want different things.
You want marriage and kids.
And he doesn’t.
So it would be best if you left him.
And find someone who wants the same things as you.
2. You’re going to get hurt if you keep staying with him
If you stay with him after he’s said he doesn’t want marriage, you will get hurt.
Because his answer will be the same no matter how often you bring up the topic.
So save yourself the hurt you’re going to face in the future.
Break up.
Deal with the hurt now.
And move on.
3. You’d have chances of finding someone else.
When you leave him, you’d have better chances of meeting someone else who wants the same things.
4. He won’t change his mind.
Another reason to leave him when he doesn’t want to marry you after five years of dating is that he won’t change his mind.
So believe him.
Get your stuff and leave that darn relationship.
You have already wasted too many years on it.
5. You don’t want to pressure him to marry you.
When a guy says he doesn’t want to marry you, please don’t pressure him to.
If you do, he will marry you and say it’s what you want.
But he would never be the husband you dreamed of.
And he won’t commit to the marriage because he never wanted it anyway.
So he only married you because it’s what you wanted.
What will happen after your break up
You will hurt
You will cry and wonder how you made such a mistake.
And you might even wonder if you did something wrong that made him say this.
Some of us would go as far as saying we would change.
But it’s not you.
It’s him.
You’ll miss him
Yes! You’d remember all the good times and memories you made together.
Some jealousy and loneliness will also creep in, making it difficult for you to face reality.
And you’d be tempted to call him.
But don’t.
Also…
You’d consider changing your mind.
You might even consider renouncing what you want to be with him.
But the truth is that because you wanted marriage from the onset, it would lurk at the back of your mind.
Unless you’re sure that you no longer want to be married.
Besides, you’re not sure if your guy doesn’t want marriage?
Or if he doesn’t want to marry you.
So changing your mind and sticking with him might not be the best idea.
You’d feel like you invested too much to leave now.
When deciding if you should leave your guy, you would feel like you’ve invested so much time to back down.
That feeling is normal.
I know leaving a relationship after so many years isn’t easy.
You’d be emotional and all that.
But you can’t stay in a relationship where your partner wants different things.
What to do to avoid making the same mistakes
Take your time before getting into another relationship
After breaking up with your boyfriend, don’t date for a while.
Instead, focus on healing and getting better.
And when you’re better and still interested in dating, try again.
But this time…
Talk about what you want when your relationship gets serious
When your relationship is getting serious, tell your boyfriend what you’re looking for.
And ask him what he wants too.
Does he want marriage?
Or a long-term relationship?
Do you both want kids?
And if yes, how many kids?
Don’t be scared to ask these questions.
You should know these things before you get too serious.
So that if you’re not on the same page, you can go your separate ways.
Because breaking up while dating is easier than divorce.
Next…
Don’t move in with your boyfriend without some form of commitment
Another thing you mustn’t do is move in with someone you’re not sure wants to marry you.
You might say his place is close to your job, etc.
Or you’re trying to save money.
Or you’re missing him too much, so you decided to live with him.
Nope.
That’s not how to start living with your partner.
First, you must be sure you want to marry each other.
Not just assuming.
They must have said several times that they want to marry you.
And if you don’t like living together before marriage, you can stay together on and off.
And maybe move in full after you’re engaged or married.
Please read these posts:
15 Signs You’re Not Ready To Move In With Your Boyfriend (6 signs you’re ready)
Cohabiting Before Marriage, Is It Good Or Bad – A Response Post
Living Together Before Marriage – 9 Great Benefits
Stop staying in relationships for more than a year if it’s not moving forward.
Stop dating for years without knowing where your relationship is headed to avoid making the same mistakes.
If nothing happens after a year, please don’t waste time there.
Also, if you guys don’t want the same things, stop wasting your time with him.
End it and move on to find someone who wants the same things.
How long does it take a guy to know he wants to marry you?
Usually, couples can tell if they want to marry each other within six months to a year.
How to make a man want to marry you
Be yourself.
Ask him questions that make him think.
Please read 5 Simple Ways To Get A Man To Marry You.
Questions to ask the guy you want to marry
Before marrying a guy, ask if he wants kids and how many.
That’s one of the subjects some couples don’t trash.
And after marriage, they’re surprised their partner wants kids while they don’t.
Please read 17 Serious Questions To Ask Yourself Before Marriage.
How to tell if a guy wants to marry you
He will tell you he wants to marry.
And he would also show it by the way he treats you.
He would introduce you to his family and friends.
Please read 13 Genuine Signs He Wants To Spend His Life With You.
Wrapping it up! Why won’t he marry me after 5 years?
Maybe you both assumed you wanted the same things and just went with the flow.
Or you guys avoided the topic completely.
But here you are.
What you can do is break up with your guy who doesn’t want marriage after five years.
And move on.
Don’t waste your time thinking you can change his mind.
You don’t want anyone to marry you out of pressure or pity.
Let’s say such marriages are not the healthiest.
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Thanks for reading.
Please read these related posts:
When He Says He Doesn’t See A Future With You Anymore | What Does It Mean?
Is Marrying A Man Without A Stable Income A Good Idea?
I Married A Man 5 Years Younger Than Me – My Thoughts On Marrying A Younger Man
9 Great Reasons To Marry The Nice Guy
8 Lessons I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage
