10 Ways Marriage Made Me More Independent


Most of us think marriage makes women more dependent on their husbands.

But this post will show you ten ways marriage made me more independent.

Maybe you can learn how to be more independent in your marriage.

Let’s begin.

How to be more independent in your marriage – 10 Ways

Here are 10 ways to be more independent in your union.

1. Be yourself


To be independent in your marriage, you must be yourself.

Remember, your husband fell in love with you.

Not an idea of what you should be.

So don’t try to be someone else because you feel that’s what he thinks a wife should be.

And also, accept that your partner has their own personality.

It’s okay to like different things.

But you’d find a middle ground where you enjoy some things together.

Just be yourself and enjoy your life together.

2. Create and enjoy your personal space to keep being you

Make time to spend on your own, even if you enjoy spending time with your husband.

You need that personal space just to be yourself.

And enjoy the things you love.

Do you do yoga?

Or you used to be in dance or art classes?

Continue to enjoy them as your personal thing.

I love music, reading, and long walks.

I make sure to do those things to continue to feel like me.

My point is, don’t neglect personal time because you’re married.

Making time for yourself helps you become more independent in your marriage.

3. Continue to work to improve yourself

Another way to be more independent in your marriage is to keep working.

If you have a career you love, keep doing it.

You and your husband can discuss how to make your schedules fit your family.

And even if you don’t have a nine-to-five job, you can work online.

I know many stay-at-home wives that work from home.

And they make good money.

I’ve gotten used to working from home that I don’t think I want a nine-to-five job anymore.

I enjoy working from home.

It allows me to do what I love and make money from it.

Also, while working from home, you can learn new things and improve yourself.

4. Ask for and accept help from your partner to be more independent

Some of us think being independent means not asking your spouse for support.

If you can’t ask your SO for support, who would you then ask?

I returned to my millinery business when I stopped working nine to five.

And my husband thought investing money into my business would help it grow.

So we talked about it.

And he gave me enough money to buy materials in bulk.

Which improved my business.

So ask and also accept help from your partner.

You don’t have to do everything alone to be independent in your marriage.

It’s okay to ask your spouse for financial or moral support to get there.

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5. Create a routine to be independent in your marriage


Some people, once married, are occupied every hour of every day, every week.

They’re either caught up with house chores.

Or kids’ extracurricular activities.

And the cycle keeps going without any time left to relax in your marriage.

So to be more independent in your marriage, you need a routine that works.

Routines may seem dull.

But a good routine makes life easier.


Make time for work

  • When you begin working
  • When to take a break
  • And when to call it a day.

Share chores, and choose days for them.

  • Maybe meal plan and cook twice a week.
  • So you’re not cooking every day of the week.

Make time for the kids (if you have them).

Your kids may not like the routine, but they’ll get used to it soon.

So plan:

  • What to do when they return from school,
  • What they’ll eat,
  • And their bedtime routines.

Then spend time with your partner.

  • Eat dinner or some snack together,
  • Cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other before bedtime.
  • Remember to put off some things.

If you try to do everything daily, you’ll never be independent in your marriage.

You’d feel helpless in a merry-go-round of chores, kids, and no personal time for your marriage.

So use the routine to break things and make them work.

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6. To be more independent in your marriage, try new things

Being married shouldn’t stop you from trying new things.

If you want to learn a new language or skill, go for it.

If you want to start a new career, try it.

Or do you want to try a new sporting activity?

I say go for it.

When my husband started his program, I had to find ways to make money online.

So I discovered blogging.

I didn’t know much about it.

But I started my first blog anyway.

I learned a lot and still learning.

Made lots of mistakes.

Now I make money from my blogs.

So don’t be afraid to try new things.

7. Ignore other people’s opinions of you.

To be more independent in your marriage, ignore what others think of you.

Some people will bash you for the choices you make in your marriage.

They’d act like they know what’s best for you.

Or tell you what they would do if they were in your shoes.

Those are all distractions to take you away from your real goal. Which is to be more independent in your marriage.

So ignore all the noise.

And focus on what you want from life.

Keep prioritizing your marriage, and make it stronger.

And as long as you have your husband’s support, nothing else matters.

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8. Become friends with your husband.


The friendship between my husband and me made me more independent in marriage.

My hubby and I can talk about general topics, science, football; you name it.

And we also play a lot.

Also, we know better how to resolve issues like friends because our connection is deep.

So become close friends with your spouse.

9. Keep your friends

Another way to be independent in your marriage is to maintain friendships.

Don’t think you won’t need your friends because you’re now married.

You’d always need friendships outside of your marriage.

So stay in touch with your girlfriends.

And also expect that your husband would need time with his friends too.

But don’t let your friendships threaten your marriage.

10. Remember, you’re a complete person.

To be independent in your marriage, you must know you’re a whole person.

Not half of a person.

You and your spouse are whole people building a life together.

So don’t depend fully on them for wholeness.

In short, don’t be too needy or clingy.

It might sound sweet that you want to spend every hour of every day with your spouse.

But it gets old quickly.

Also, it is sweet to say they complete you.

But always know that you’re a whole human being.

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Conclusion on how to be more independent in your marriage

I hope these tips help you to be more independent in your marriage.

Do you have any more tips to be more independent in our marriages?

Please share them with us.

Thanks for reading.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it.

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