Rethinking Couch Bans: How They Might Hurt Your Relationship

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If you’re wondering if it’s okay to ban your husband to the couch after an argument, then this post is for you.

We’ve seen it in movies where the couple has a misunderstanding and the wife says the husband sleeps on the couch tonight.

Or sometimes the man chooses the couch himself.

While it’s just a movie, it icks me the wrong way.

And also because some of us practice this behavior in our relationships.

And if we don’t deal with things the proper way, our relationships will suffer.

So this post will discuss why your husband sleeping on the couch after an argument is not okay.

And we’ll also talk about possible reasons your spouse picks the couch when you fight.

Let’s dive in.

Reasons why your husband sleeping on the couch after an argument is not advisable

1. Sleeping in separate rooms when angry drives a wedge between you

First, if you send your spouse to the couch every time you argue, or they choose it themselves, you’d drive a wedge between you two.

And it starts with sleeping apart, and before you know it you’re living like roommates.

Ad things can go south from there.

Also, when you sleep apart after a fight, you might be sending the wrong message to your partner.

Though it might not be intentional.

So your partner might interpret your sleeping apart as them repulsing you.

That’s why you don’t want to be in the same room with them.

Which only worsens the matter.

Instead, we must learn to still lead with love even during conflicts.

Easier said than done. I know.

But it’s possible.

Anyway, sending your man to the couch isn’t a good move no matter how mad you are.

And also don’t let him choose the couch over your bed.

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2. You ruin the chances of resolving the problem

Another thing is that you’d ruin the chances of settling the issues when your partner sleeps on the couch after a fight.

Sometimes when we argue, we may go to bed upset on the same bed.

Later in the night, we’d cuddle with each other.

I might say, I’m still upset and whatever.

But that touch or hug from my SO has calmed me down.

Then we’d talk about and resolve our argument in the morning.

3. Neither of you will sleep well

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I said earlier that I don’t understand what kind of sleep you’d get sleeping away from your loved one.

Yes, you can go to bed mad.

But you’d likely not sleep well when you’re in separate rooms.

Call it what you will.

But I won’t sleep well if we’re both mad and my husband sleeps on a friggin couch.

And he won’t sleep well either because:

  1. The couch is uncomfortable as eff.
  2. His wife is not there to rub his back or touch his feet with hers.

4. Your husband isn’t your kid that you send on time out

Condemning your husband to the couch when you’re mad at him looks like sending your kid on time out.

He’s your husband, not your child.

You can be mad at him.

And you guys can give each other time to cool off.

But no partner should be punished like a rude kid.

Please read these posts:

11 Steps To Stop Being A Mom To Your Husband

8 Lessons I’ve Learned In 8 Years Of Marriage

Why your spouse sleeps on the couch after an argument

So back to my movie reference, I believe most people don’t tell their spouses to sleep on the couch.

The couch-sleeping spouse chose to do that.

Not necessarily the wife is kicking the husband out of the bed as we see in movies.

So here are several reasons your husband may sleep on the couch after an argument:

He’s avoiding conflict.

Your partner may decide to sleep on the couch to avoid conflict.

So they run from the problem and wake up like it never happened.

They want to sweep it under the carpet and move on.

I don’t think that’s okay at all.

Your spouse wants to cool off and talk tomorrow.

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Another reason could be that your partner wants to cool off and talk the next day.

It’s the same reason some men go for a drive when you argue.

They want some space to calm down and think.

So if that’s their reason, I think it is okay.

But I’m still against sleeping separately after an argument.

And we’ll get to that soon.

Your husband doesn’t want to escalate the situation

Your spouse may know that the quarrel can get heated if they stay and keep arguing.

So they walk away to think of better ways to approach the situation.

I know you don’t like it when your spouse walks away.

But it is better than saying things you’d regret in the heat of the argument, which can only escalate the issue.

Please read How I De-Escalate Arguments With My Husband – 5 Simple Tricks.

Your husband sleeping on the couch after an argument means he wants a good night’s sleep.

Your spouse may choose the couch because they have to get some sleep.

And maybe they feel you won’t sleep well if you’re in the same space.

Because the argument might continue as long as you see each other.

So it’s not because they don’t want to resolve the issue.

They want to revisit the matter when you’re well-rested and ready to listen to each other.

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Or he wants to guilt-trip you.

Another reason your spouse takes the couch when you argue is because they want to make you feel bad.

Also, he does it because he knows you don’t like it.

And you’d know because he would sleep on the couch no matter how big or minor the argument may be.

So it’s like, “I’m suffering. Sleeping on this uncomfortable couch. And it is all your fault.”

That is manipulative and crazy as eff.

And I think in this situation, you need to seek professional help.

But we’ll get into that soon.

What to do if your husband sleeps on the couch after a fight

Persuade him to come back to bed

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The only time my husband chose to sleep on the couch after an argument, I went to coax him to come back to bed.

Yes, we’re still upset and all that.

But my man needs to sleep with me on our bed.

It doesn’t mean we won’t trash the issue the next day.

Oh yes, we would.

But until then, we sleep and wake up together on this bed.

I know you may be angry about your argument, but don’t let your man sleep away from you.

Speak to and persuade him to come to bed.

It would help if you had your angry spouse beside you than sleep alone, in my opinion.

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Give him his space when your husband sleeps on the couch after an argument.

Coaxing your partner to come back to bed may not work for everyone.

So maybe you should give them some space for the night.

And you can talk about the matter the next day when you’re both calm.

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15 Tips To Communicate With Your Partner Without Fighting.

Talk about how you felt when he slept on the couch

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Talk to him if you don’t like it when your spouse leaves the bed for the sofa.

Like me, I told my husband how it made me feel when he slept on the couch.

So let your spouse know how it makes you feel.

And also listen to their side of the argument and work on a resolution.

Seek professional help

So your spouse sleeps on the couch every time you argue.

And it happens often; maybe you should seek a professional.

You will both benefit from seeing a marriage counselor.

So should a wife sleep on the couch after an argument with her hubby?

It would help if you didn’t sleep on the couch after arguing with your husband.

You can stay mad but go to bed as usual.

The few times I left my bed to sleep on the couch, my husband came to call me back to bed.

And other times, I went back to bed myself because I was scared of sleeping alone in the living room. Lol.

So sleeping on the couch is not an option for me.

Are guys supposed to sleep on the couch after an argument?

Nope!

Guys are not supposed to sleep don’t the couch after an argument.

Also, guys shouldn’t ban their partners from the bed either.

Instead, you both must discuss and resolve the issue the same night.

Or go to bed angry.

In the same bed.

And trash the problem in the morning.

But sleeping in separate rooms when angry shouldn’t be an option for either of you.

No one partner is supposed to sleep on the sofa because the other person is mad.

Conclusion

Why your husband sleeping on the couch after an argument is a no-no.

No matter how heated the argument, I don’t believe your spouse should sleep on the couch.

Or you should send your husband to the couch because you’re upset.

I hope you find this post helpful.

Now it’s your turn.

Do you think it is okay for your husband to sleep on the couch after an argument?

Please let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks for reading.

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