7 Reasons Why Long-Distance Relationships Don’t Work – What To Do Instead


Throughout my dating life, I never thought of a long-distance relationship.

And the only time I had a long-distance relationship, it didn’t work.

While I know it works for some people, I understand that trying to be the exception is overreaching.

So this post will discuss the reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work.

And what you should do instead.

Let’s dive in.

7 reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work

1. Your partner isn’t there when you need someone is why long-distance relationships don’t work


The most common thing missing in long-distance relationships is that your partner is not there when you need someone.

Yes, they might call you regularly and whatnot.

But sometimes you want to be with that special person, talk, cry, laugh, and just chill.

And you’d hardly or never get that from a long-distance relationship.

Also, sometimes you want to cuddle with the one you love.

It is hard and frustrating when that person is far away from you.

And sometimes you want to spend a day or two at your partner’s.

How do you do that when you live in different states?

2. You have to plan everything every time is another reason why long-distance relationships don’t work.

Before you can spend time with your long-distance relationship partner, you must plan everything.

Things are rarely spontaneous.

And that’s because you’re not in the same city.

So neither of you can just drive to see the other person.

You have to call and be sure it’s okay with them.

Maybe they have a tight schedule, etc.

And you have to plan, book flight tickets, etc.

Then after seeing, you’re in a hurry to get back.

And you may not see each other for months after that.

Whew! It’s exhausting typing that.

3. In a long-distance relationship, you’ll never really know your partner


When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you only know what you see or what your partner tells you.

You’d never really know your partner as much as you would if you lived in the same city.

So you’ve never seen how they manage their emotions.

Also, you don’t know how they treat people.

And who knows?

Maybe if you knew them more, you might want nothing to do with them.

4. Your partner isn’t there to hang out or go on dates

More reason why long-distance relationships fail is that you don’t see and hang out like regular couples.

Most couples like going out to coffee shops, having fancy dinners, or even the movies.

But you’ll hardly do any of these when your partner is halfway across the country or, even worse, the world.

I love it when I look lovely and go out with my man.

And he holds my hand, opens doors for me, and all that PDA stuff.

We all love it.

But most times, you don’t get that from a long-distance relationship.

Because you’re hardly ever together.

5. Your partner might want to see other people


You must have heard someone say their long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend wants to sleep with other people.

This happens a lot.

And that’s because physical intimacy is important in relationships.

So you or your partner might be tempted to get intimate with people around you.

Also, some long-distance partners are already sleeping with other people.

But they’re just telling you now so they won’t feel guilty about it.

When your long-distance partner tells you they want to sleep with other people; you better believe there is no relationship.

Your relationship or situationship with them is over.

The worst part is when your partner says they want to continue dating you while sleeping with someone else.

This person is leading you on and will waste your time.

Please stop calling them or taking their calls.

Just quit contacting them.

6. You’re uncertain of how and when things will change

In some long-distance relationships, both partners are unsure when things will change.

Are you going to remain long-distance for years?

Do you plan to get married?

Are you going to live together before you get married?

Who will quit their current job and move to join the other person?

Maybe you both love the cities you live in and wouldn’t want to move.

Or maybe one of you is scared that the relationship might not work after moving.

So while you’re waiting for the right time to move or look for a new job, time keeps going.

And before you know it, years have gone by, and your connection starts fading away.

Which can lead to the end of the relationship.

7. There’s a high chance your partner has someone else


Another reason why long-distance relationships don’t work is that your partner might have a partner.

Some men get into long-distance relationships when they have a whole family.

So these men cheat on their wives when they’re out of town.

And because they want you always to be available, they’ll act like you have a relationship.

It’s all B.S.

I know of someone who had a long-distance boyfriend.

They both lived in different countries.

When he’s in the country, they’ll be together.

But the whole time they were dating, he never mentioned that he had a woman and a kid.

And sometimes, when he’s with my friend, he’s on the phone with someone for hours.

After a while, she discovered he had a family hidden from her.

Anyway, the relationship ended.

So what can you do when long-distance relationships don’t work out?

1. Don’t try to be the exception

I know long-distance relationships work for some people.

I’ve heard beautiful stories.

But I’ve also seen a bad one happen to someone I know.

A good long-distance relationship story


I know of someone who married and her husband moved out of the country.

He stayed in touch with her for years.

And kept planning on how to bring her over.

After years of working and planning, he finally brought his wife to join him.

Now, a bad and more common long-distance relationship story

A former roommate of mine had a boyfriend outside the country.

She would call him on international calls for hours, laugh, cry, you name it.

The promise was he would come back to marry her.

Years after the back-and-forth calls, he came to the country to visit his and her family.

Do you know what he did?

He gave her some money as compensation for wasting her time for years.

And that he’s going to marry someone else.

She had a massive heartbreak.

So my point is, don’t try to be an exception.

Please read 9 Tips For Recovering From Heartbreak – When You’ve Given It Your All.

2. Date someone in your city, county, area whatever

Date someone you can see a few times a week.

Someone that can take you to the movies and do relationship things.

It’s best to date someone that takes you to meet their friends or family.

So you know where you stand.

And if this person is playing you or maybe he’s not what you like, you’d know quickly.

Taking on the phone is not the same as seeing and spending time.

When you date someone you see regularly; you’d know how he reacts when he’s mad.

And you guys can learn how to settle arguments better because you see each other.

3. Ask guys out if no one is asking you out


If no one is asking you out, maybe you should start approaching men.

Say hello.

Start a conversation.

You’d meet some good guys and some jerks.

But it’s best to be rejected by someone you can see than to be led on and deceived by someone thousands of miles away.

Also, when you meet a genuine guy, you will know.

Because he would tell and show you that he wants to be with you.

Please read Why Do Guys Hit On My Friend But Not Me? 7 Valid Reasons.

4. Take a break from dating apps

Some of us meet men on dating apps.

But dating apps are also where you find these long-distance relationship liars.

So if you want to meet real people, talk to people in your area.

Go to a coffee shop, and talk to guys.

Some guys find it flattering when women approach them

Keep trying until you meet someone that clicks with you, and see how it goes.

Please read Why Women Should Start Asking Guys Out – Pros & Cons.

5. Try match-making services instead of long-distance relationships


Though I’m not a fan of match-making services, I know it works for some people.

And I also heard they’d find you someone in your city.

So you can meet, go on dates and get to know each other better.

And with match-making, both of you are looking to meet or interested in dating.

Which I think reduces the chances of meeting someone who wants to play with you.

I’m not saying it’s the ultimate way to meet someone.

But I believe it’s better than long-distance relationships or dating apps.

Because people that use match-making services are vetted before matching them with others.

Still, be careful, and don’t be forced to accept someone that doesn’t gel with you.

Conclusion on why long-distance relationships don’t work

So that’s my two cents on why long-distance relationships never work.

I hope you find this post helpful.

And start planning on how to meet people where you live, and create a relationship.

Good luck!

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