Constantly Seeking Male Approval? Here’s How to Stop
At a time in my life, I constantly sought men’s approval.
And being myself and making decisions became difficult.
When one guy says, “This is what men like in a woman,” I’d try to be that.
But everything changed when my husband and I started dating.
For the first time, I realized I didn’t need anyone’s approval to be who I am.
He loves me for exactly who I am—never pressuring me to fit some ideal image of what a woman should be.
And that’s what led me to this article.
We will discuss the signs that you might be seeking men’s approval and what to do instead.
Let’s get into it.
Signs You’re Seeking Every Man’s Approval
We all want to be liked.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
But when we start craving attention in ways that make us feel less-than or insecure, it’s time to pause.
Here are some signs you might be seeking approval from men and why it’s not serving you:
You ask what men think of your looks
A major sign you’re seeking men’s approval is constantly asking for feedback on your appearance.
You might look amazing, but you’re giving away your power when you open the door to everyone’s opinions.
Some people will try to knock you down simply because they can.
These comments often come from a place of insecurity—they want to make you feel bad because they feel bad.
And guess what?
You’ve handed them the keys by asking in the first place.
You ask what men think about your career
Another red flag?
Asking men what they think about your career choices.
Some men love career-driven women; others don’t.
It’s a personal preference, but their opinion shouldn’t affect how you feel about your path.
People who are insecure about their choices will try to make you question yours.
You’ll hear things like, “Women shouldn’t work this hard,” or “That’s not a woman’s role.”
Don’t let their fears become yours.
You keep bringing up your age, looking for validation
Feeling confident at any age is powerful.
But constantly seeking validation from men about how you look for your age can chip away at your self-worth.
Some will say they don’t care about age—and they’re right.
What matters most is how you feel.
But if you keep asking, you’ll never truly be satisfied with their answers.
You compare yourself to other women
One of the worst traps is asking men whether they prefer stay-at-home wives or career-driven women.
It sparks unnecessary comparisons that benefit no one.
These discussions quickly spiral into “who’s the better woman,” and it only creates tension and self-doubt.
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So, What Can You Do Instead?
It’s time to stop seeking approval from men or strangers online.
Here’s how you can start:
Be yourself
I know it sounds cliché, but the first step is to be yourself.
In a world full of opinions, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are.
Start small.
Think about what you genuinely enjoy—whether it’s your favorite outfit, how you spend time with friends, or the music you love.
These little moments add up and help you reconnect with you.
If you’ve been living for someone else’s approval, it may feel hard at first.
But I promise you’ll find freedom in being authentic.
Be selfish about self-care
Taking time to care for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
Whether that means setting boundaries, indulging in hobbies you love, or just saying “no” when you need to, prioritize yourself.
Focus on your growth
One surefire way to stop seeking men’s approval is to focus on personal growth.
Work on building self-confidence and leaving self-doubt behind.
Whether you’re making strides in your career, fitness goals, or personal development, celebrate it.
It doesn’t matter if that stranger on social media approves.
What matters is that you’re growing and enjoying the journey.
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Feel secure in your choices
The key to not needing anyone’s approval?
Feeling secure in your own choices.
Whatever career path or life decisions you’ve made, own them.
Sure, we all doubt ourselves sometimes.
But don’t let someone else’s preferences dictate how you feel about your life.
Stand firm if you’ve chosen a career over family—or vice versa.
It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind and go in another direction if you want to.
I’m only saying that we should own our choices and never seek permission to be ourselves.
And remember, someone else’s opinion doesn’t define your worth.
Also, remember you are enough
One powerful way to stop seeking men’s approval—online or in real life—is to remind yourself that you’re enough, just as you are.
You don’t need anyone else to validate that for you.
Truth is, when you put yourself out there, negativity is bound to come your way.
It’s tough—I’ve been there.
But here’s the thing: just like everyone, men have different tastes.
Some will find you attractive, and others won’t.
And let’s not forget that unhappy people project their frustration onto others with cruel words.
So, getting comfortable with feeling enough on our own is crucial.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s completely doable—and worth it.
And sometimes, getting there might mean seeking unbiased support.
Remember, investing in yourself is always worth it.
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Be happy
The right person will love you for who you are.
No pressure to conform, no need to change.
When you stop seeking approval, you’ll find the right partner who values you as you are.
And you’ll have a relationship based on mutual respect for who you are as individuals.
Final thoughts
If any of this resonates with you, I hope you take these words to heart.
You don’t need anyone’s approval to be yourself.
The right person won’t ask you to change—they’ll love you for who you are.
Thanks for reading!
If you found this helpful, feel free to share it.
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