41 Things I Learned From Past Relationships (Part Two)
This is part two of the things I learned from past relationships.
Read away!
Things I learned from previous relationships
Please read 41 Things I Learned From Past Relationships (Part One).
21. Love shouldn’t hurt
You must know that love shouldn’t hurt.
Some of us think when there’s drama in a relationship, it means things are alive.
No.
We all need that calm, happy love without intentional pain.
So if you meet a guy that treats you great.
Please keep him.
Don’t be like some of us that leave the good guy and get with a player.
Because we enjoy the drama and hurt, that comes with dating such guys.
Love shouldn’t hurt.
If you find a love that doesn’t hurt, please cherish it.
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22. Watch what he does, not what he says
It’s easy to get carried away by what people say.
But it would be best if you watched what they do too.
Your partner can say he loves you.
But does he show you he loves you?
Or he claims he sees everyone as equals.
But mistreats people he thinks are beneath him.
It could be anything.
If his words don’t match his actions, he’s not worth your time.
23. Never agree to date a guy when there’s another woman
One of my exes started dating another lady when we separated for a while.
And when we got back together, he wanted me to continue dating him.
While the other lady was still in his life.
I did for a while.
But it’s one of the worst things I ever did to myself.
In the end, I picked the courage to leave him.
Please don’t knowingly date a guy that’s involved with another woman.
You’d get hurt.
24. It’s okay to be alone until you find the right person
I know it’s not easy being alone.
But it’s okay to be alone sometimes.
Learn to love yourself.
Learn to be happy with yourself until you find the right person.
Because when you rush this relationship thing for fear of being alone, you might end up with a jerk.
And you’d be unhappy.
So be okay with being alone until you find the right man.
25. Never let a guy tell you he doesn’t want you more than once
It’s normal to want to know why your partner is breaking up with you.
And it’s also natural that you’d beg them to change their minds.
But in the future, if someone says they don’t want you anymore.
Please believe them.
Don’t let them repeat it.
Pick yourself and whatever is left of your pride and leave.
It would hurt.
But girl, you’ll pull through.
26. If you’re with the right person, your relationship won’t feel like work
I used to think relationships must be full of drama.
Going hot and cold on each other, etc.
But when I started dating my husband, I discovered that relationships could flow peacefully.
He made it easy to love him.
And also made it easy for me to give him someone to love.
So if you’re with the right person, your relationship will flow smoothly.
It doesn’t mean you won’t have some ups and downs.
But you’d be willing to resolve issues and keep loving each other.
27. Don’t be fooled by the sweet-nothings
Some people are good at saying words that melt our hearts.
But those same people tend to hurt us the most.
And after hurting you, they know what to say to get back into your heart.
It’s a whole messy cycle.
Some guys are so good at leading you on with sweet words.
They will never commit to you.
But they can say the words to keep you from leaving them.
28. Stop trying to fix broken people – it’s not your job
It feels good when you think you can fix someone.
But the truth is, it’s not your job to fix broken people.
Yes, you may love them.
But you might have to leave them.
Because trying to fix broken people is emotionally draining.
29. Your partner shouldn’t force you to be someone else
It’s good when your partner helps or encourages you to improve yourself.
But the problem is when your partner wants you to be someone else.
If your partner doesn’t like you for who you are, they’re not your person.
30. If they love you, you’ll meet the family
One of the things I learned from past relationships is that if they love you, you’ll meet their family.
That’s how you know someone is serious about you.
Whether it’s marriage or a long-term relationship.
Meeting the family wouldn’t be an issue if they’re serious about you.
But a partner with no plans to be with you long-term will never introduce you to his family.
And he’ll avoid meeting your family.
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31. Your partner can be your best friend
It’s good to be best friends with your man.
You should be able to talk to him about several things.
And they should be willing to do the same.
You’d still have your close girlfriend.
But it’s vital to form a close friendship with your man.
Because when the relationship sparks fade, your friendship will stay.
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32. You’re not the savior of the world. Stop trying to save everyone
Say you meet someone who drinks.
And you can’t stand how they act when drunk.
What do you do?
If you can’t stand drinking or people getting drunk and acting weird, please leave them alone.
The same goes for smoking.
If you don’t like people who smoke, there’s no point lecturing them about how bad smoking is.
Trust me, they know.
My point is you can’t save everyone.
Especially people who don’t want to be saved.
33. Have fun with your partner but also keep your friends
From past relationships, I learned that your friends are equally important.
Don’t get so caught up in your romantic relationship and forget your girlfriends.
You need to both to strike a balance.
And your beau should be able to spend quality time with his friends too.
So remember to stay in touch with your girls.
And also prioritize your beau.
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34. Don’t lead anyone on if you’re not interested
My friends used to say I was harsh because I’d not lead a guy on.
If I don’t like a guy, he would know quickly.
I don’t see the point of hanging out with someone I don’t like.
It’s a waste of both our times.
Also, it would be unfair to him if I led him on when I was not interested.
So I’d rather not start anything.
It saves time and keeps you away from drama.
35. Routines are okay
You’d be okay with routines if you’re with the right person.
Before I started dating my hubby, I loved going out every other weekend.
But when we started dating, I discovered he likes spending time indoors mostly.
And as we got closer, I began enjoying watching football with him on weekends.
Once in a while, we’ll go out.
But our routine is:
- Wake up, prepare the kids, and get them on the school bus.
- Then we’ll discuss general to personal stuff while preparing for the day.
- Then he leaves for school. And I work on my blogs.
- He might come home to have lunch with me.
- Or we’ll have dinner at 6 pm and put the kids to bed at 7 pm.
- Then we’d spend the rest of the evening gisting, cuddling, or watching TV before bedtime.
And I’m okay with it.
36. Being comfortably quiet with someone is great for your relationship
Just like I said about routines, being comfortably quiet with your partner is a sign you’re in a good relationship.
When my husband (then boyfriend) and I started living together, we stayed a whole weekend indoors.
From morning until about 6 or 7 pm.
We talked, napped, ate, stayed awake but quiet, etc.
My husband said that was the day he confirmed he would be with me for the rest of his life.
We still have those quiet times.
No, not silent treatment. Lol.
37. Never depend entirely on your partner for money
One of the things I learned from past relationships is never to rely entirely on your partner for money.
Your partner should be able to support you.
In short, you should be able to support each other financially.
But don’t just sit there and have no means of learning money.
Even if you’re a stay-at-home wife, still find ways to make some money.
I remember when my ex asked me to stop working.
And that he would give me a monthly allowance.
As I depended on my ex for money, he became unavailable.
I got tired of everything and went back to work.
He didn’t like it.
But he had to deal with it.
38. You need to stay with someone to know them
Even if it’s a few days weekly, you must stay with your partner to know them.
Or you can even travel together.
Some people say their partner changed after they got married.
Yes, it’s possible.
But it’s also likely that they saw and ignored the red flags.
The truth is you will know someone better when you stay/live with them.
Now it’s left to you to focus on what’s important before spending your life with them.
Some focus on great sex, sweet words, how they good look together, etc.
But it would be best to focus on how they treat you, share chores, etc.
I lived with my hubby before we got married.
But you don’t have to move in completely.
You can stay together a few days weekly.
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39. Learn from every relationship
Refrain from dismissing what you learned from past relationships.
Instead, use them to make better choices in new relationships.
Say you were selfish and resentful in your last relationship.
And your partner left you because of that.
In your next relationship, try to be more forgiving.
The same goes for dating abusive people.
Once you realize your partner might be abusive, please run.
40. Always listen to your gut
Before we end this post, I want to remind you to always listen to your gut.
Your gut might be wrong sometimes.
But it’s mostly right.
So if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Listen to your gut.
41. At the end of the day, we all deserve to be happy
Some past relationships almost made me believe I didn’t deserve a good man.
I thought some people deserved to be happy.
And I wasn’t in that group.
But how wrong was I?
If you and your partner are good to each other, you’ll be happy.
And you deserve to be happy whether you date or stay single.
Conclusion on 41 things I learned from past relationships
Boom! Those are 41 things I learned from previous relationships.
I hope you learned a few things from this post.
Thanks for reading.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it.
See you in the next one.
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