Why Do Guys Hit On My Friend But Not Me? 7 Valid Reasons


I’ve been out with friends several times, and guys hit on them and ignored me.

And there were times guys hit on me and not my friends.

So if you’ve been in situations where guys hit on your friend and ignored you, keep reading.

This post will discuss seven reasons guys hit on your friend but not you.

Let’s dive in.

7 Reasons why guys hit on your friend but not you

The truth is, you can’t control what guys or anyone think or do.

But you can control how you react to it.

Also, don’t be jealous of your friend or do anything to ruin your friendship.

Instead, approach this matter with an open mind, and act strategically to get what you’re looking for.

That said, here are some reasons why guys hit on your friend but you:

1. Guys have preferences just like women do

Just like you, men like certain types of women.

And you can’t control that.

Maybe your friend has short hair and attracts guys that love short-haired women.

Or she’s short and petite while you’re tall.

It’s only normal that men who like short women will go for her.

Maybe your friend can keep conversations going, and guys find it attractive.

What you can do:

But I suggest you go out yourself sometimes and see how it goes.

You might attract men who like the qualities you possess.

2. Your personality


Another reason guys hit on your friend and not you might be because of your disposition.

If you’re always on your resting … face, guys might not hit on you.

I had a friend who always had her resting … face on, and guys would ask why she was mad.

And she’d say she’s not mad, and conversations start.

But sometimes guys ignore women with that face because they don’t want to deal with us.

Also, they might not want you to embarrass them because most women with that face often embarrass guys.

What you can do:

Maybe retire the resting face if you want to meet guys.

Please don’t make a guy feel like he disgusts you.

Just saying.

3. Your friend might be friendlier.


Your friend may seem more approachable, so guys hit on her.

It doesn’t mean you’re unfriendly.

Sometimes people have misconceptions about you, and you can’t control that.

But keep being yourself.

What you can do:

Another thing you can do is maybe start asking guys out.

I know it’s not easy because it’s uncommon for women to approach men.

But if guys go for your friend and ignore you, you might have to start going for guys if you want to date.

And while you may seem unfriendly, approaching a guy helps him see he was wrong about you.

Break the ice, and get what you want.

4. Some guys are scared of you.

Some guys might be scared of talking to you if you’re gorgeous.

But it’s not your problem; it’s theirs.

Also, some guys believe beautiful women have a good amount of craze.

So they avoid us.

Look at me feeling like a beautiful woman. Lol.

But what can we do?

You can’t change how beautiful you are so guys can talk to you.

But try moving solo to increase your chances of meeting guys.

When you’re the only one, there is no competition for a guy’s attention.

There won’t be anything like “She’s cool, but her friend is funnier.”

You will have his full attention without distractions.

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5. They assume you’re already dating.


Believe it or not, some guys find it hard to believe that a beautiful woman can be single.

So they may see you and assume you have a boyfriend.

And they’d hit on your friend who looks like she’s single.

I got that several times when I was still single.

A guy would be talking to me and then ask, “Where is your boyfriend.”

And they’ll be shocked to hear that I didn’t have a boyfriend.

Most men assume beautiful women are already taken.

It’s mostly your close guy friends that know you’re single.

But they can’t ask you out because it makes things awkward between you.

Then again, you can date your close guy-friend. It worked for many other women and me.

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What you can do:

While you can wait for guys that can talk to beautiful women to come to you, it might not be the best thing.

So maybe consider talking to guys first and watching them blush.

You can meet a guy at a coffee or smoothie shop and ask if you can sit with him.

He might say yes or that he’s busy. And that’s okay.

But most men love talking to beautiful women.

Keep making the first move until you meet the one that wants to be friends.

Start from there.

6. It depends on what the guy is looking for

Also, depending on what a guy is looking for, he might hit on your friend, not you.

And that’s okay.

He might be looking for a wife:

  • And you’re sending the wrong vibe. But your friend looks good but is also modest. So he goes for her.
  • Or to him, your friend is prettier, so he hits on her and not you.
  • Have you ever seen a cute guy with an average-looking woman? It happens a lot. To him, she’s the most beautiful woman. So maybe he prefers average-looking women like your friend, and you’re too pretty.

He might be looking for nothing serious:

  • And your friend is flirting with him.
  • But you, on the other hand, look like you won’t fall for his game. So he goes for your friend.

Now, I’m not saying it’s okay for anyone to assume you’re easy because of your outfits.

Neither am I saying anyone that does one-night stands is bad.

Who am I to judge?

But sometimes our outfits send the wrong message about us.

Also, men think and see things differently than women.

What you can do:

Dress lovely and sexy when going out, but don’t give it all away.

Good men and some jerks will still approach you.

And maybe one day you’d attract a good man, and you’d like each other.

But it’s best to set the record straight from the onset.

Because there’ll always be jerks.

7. They think your friend is more beautiful.


I was invited to a party, so I invited a close friend.

She didn’t know what to wear, so I borrowed her one of my dresses.

And I wore a short skirt with a pretty lacy blouse.

We looked lovely. *reminiscing*

When we got to the party, guys were more attracted to my friend.

She was light-skinned, a little shorter than me, and very pretty.

And the dress flattered her even more.

So the men were more interested in her.

Yeah, I felt some kind of way.

But I let it go because there were times when guys hit on me, not her.

So, maybe to them, she was more beautiful than me.

What you can do:

Just let it go.

To some people, you’re beautiful, and to some, you’re not.

And it’s okay.

It happens; it’s life.

Conclusion on why guys hit on your friend but not you

While you can’t control what guys do, you can change the game to get what you want.

So sometimes, go out without your friend, and meet guys.

Don’t wait for them to come to you.

As I said, some guys are scared of beautiful or all women.

Maybe your approaching them will make it easier.

Also, retire the resting face to make yourself more approachable.

And you might find what you’re looking for.

That’s my two cents on the topic.

I hope you find it helpful.

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