Why Your Husband Prefers His Hand Over You – 10 Things To Do


Are you feeling hurt and unloved because your husband prefers his hand over you?

When a man plays solo, we must understand that he’s never entirely to blame for it.

Because there are two people in the relationship.

But still, it doesn’t mean you should accept the current situation.

So this post will discuss why your husband chooses his hand over you.

And practical tips to help you get him back all to yourself.

Let’s dive in.

So why does your husband prefer his hand over you?

Like I said initially, you both played a role in why your husband chooses his hand over you.

So here are possible reasons he prefers his hand to you:

1. You reject him most of the time

When you reject your man more than you accept him, he might return to his good ole friend, “his hand.”

And he’d pleasure himself.

Because his hand never rejects him.

I know sometimes you’re not in the mood for intimacy.

Sometimes you’re exhausted and don’t want anyone touching you.

I get it.

But if you’re tired ALL THE TIME?

It sends a different message to your guy.

So because he doesn’t want to bug you or get rejected again, he would help himself.

2. He loves you but is not sexually attracted to you

Your husband might no longer be sexually attracted to you.

That’s why he prefers his hand over you.

But it doesn’t mean he’s fallen out of love with you.


He probably still loves you.

But for men, sex comes with physical attraction.

A man must be attracted to a woman to want to sleep with her.

And if he’s no longer attracted to her, he won’t go there.

So maybe you slacked a bit in your physical appearance.

And he’s no longer seeing what turns him on about you anymore.

That’s why he’s using his hand instead of sleeping with his wife.

3. His hand is more affectionate is why your husband prefers his hand to you


Another reason your guy likes his hand over you is that his hand is more loving.

Let’s face it.

Some of us women lay down like logs when doing it with our partner.

Look, it takes two to have great sex.

If you lay down like a log waiting for your husband to finish and get up, he might as well not do it with you.

Most men would rather use their hands than sleep with a partner who makes them feel like crap after intimacy.

I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

For all he knows, his hand is more affectionate and active.

4. Your sex life feels more like a chore.

Some couples have sex like it’s a chore.

Like it’s just something you do.

Not something to enjoy with your partner.

And if your sex life starts to feel like a chore, the hand might begin to look more attractive.

Maybe you only do it in the bedroom.

Because you think that’s the proper and only way it should be done.

At some point, it would start feeling like a chore.

And most people don’t like chores.

5. You don’t find him attractive is why your hubby prefers his hand over you

Your husband might choose his hand over you if he thinks you’re not sexually attracted to him.

So are you still attracted to your hubby?

Do you check him out?

Do you find him sexy?

Look! Your man knows when you find him attractive.

And as I said before, sex comes with physical attraction.

And when you find your partner attractive, you’d crave and enjoy intimacy with them.

Several things make a man sexy to his partner.

His smile.

His personality.

It could even be as simple as how he looks in a T-shirt or sweatpants.

Or as weird as how he places his hand on the steering wheel while driving.

Or maybe how his arms look when he rolls up his sleeves.


Yeah, I’m weird like that.

6. His hand is more familiar is why your husband prefers husband over you

Sometimes a man prefers his hand over you because his hand is more familiar.

Self-pleasuring is healthy and normal.

But when you over-indulge yourself, it can be a problem down the road.

So maybe he has over-indulged himself in the past.

And even now, with a loving spouse, he still prefers his hand.

There are men like that.

And if that’s the case with your guy, he needs professional help.

So he can heal from it, and you guys can move forward.

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So what can you do when your husband prefers his hand over you?

1. Talk about it

The first thing to do when your hubby chooses his hand over you is to talk about it.

Find out why he prefers to touch himself instead of sleeping with you.

He needs to let you know if it’s you.

Or if he has a problem that requires professional help.

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2. Remember that it’s okay to feel the way you do.

You’d feel different ways when your partner prefers their hand over you.

And I want you to know that it’s normal.

Even if you blame yourself, which you would, it’s still okay to feel hurt, etc.

3. Spend more time together.


Prioritize couples time.

Bring back the things you guys enjoy doing together.

If you guys used to enjoy cooking together, hiking, etc., find a way to bring those things back.

It helps build your friendship and rebuild closeness.

Which can lead to more intimacy.

And the chance to talk about several things.

4. Talk about intimacy with him.

Do you guys still talk about lovemaking?

Or do you think lovemaking isn’t something to discuss?

You must discuss what you both like in bed to deal with your hubby choosing his hand over you.

Also, talking about intimacy gets most people in the mood for it.

You might feel shy about it.

But it’s all part of it.

Maybe your husband doesn’t know what you like, so you guys aren’t enjoying coupling.

And maybe that’s why he’s choosing his hand.

But once you know what you both enjoy, you’ll pleasure each other more.

5. Make yourself more attractive if your husband prefers his hand over you.


The truth is sex comes with physical attraction.

And if a man doesn’t find a woman hot, he wouldn’t want to sleep with her.

Maybe you used to put more effort into your appearance.

But these days you don’t care.

You need to up your game to win your man from his hand.

  • Improve your hygiene.
  • Get back into your physical activities.
  • Start wearing those cute little outfits you and your husband like.

Little changes like these can improve things under the sheets.

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6. Remember, sex is better when you both want it.

You must participate if you’re still interested in intimacy with your hubby.

So show him you want to make love to him.

And also, don’t just lay like a log.

Do something too.

You know what to do.

Or ask your guy what he likes and try to please him as he pleases you.

That’s how to have an excellent bedroom time.

7. Spice up your sex life.

Another thing to do when your man prefers his hand over you is to spice things up in the bedroom.

Simple ways to do that are:

  • Spend the night in a hotel away from everyone.
  • Or plan a dinner date, wear something sexy and red. Most men like red.
  • Ditch the t-shirt nightgown for a short slip without underwear.
  • You can even role-play if you’re up for it.
  • Just be with your guy, relax, and enjoy your time together.

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8. Dress sexy for your husband.


Follow up the hot dinner date with regularly looking sexy for your hubby.

Most men want to sleep with their wives.

So give him many reasons to want to.

When you’re at home, ditch the sweatpants.

  • Go for lounge shorts.
  • Please stop wearing those long pajama pants; get pajamas with short shorts.
  • Wear silk slips or a cami and shorts without underwear to bed.
  • Also, stop hiding those cute legs under long clothes.
  • Give your man something to think about and act upon.

9. Initiate sex more

Also, it would be best if you initiated lovemaking.

It’s not only your man’s job to start it.

When you initiate intimacy, it shows your man you’re still very into him.

And makes you even more attractive to him.

Because most men love it when you go for what you want.

Instead of playing mind games.

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10. Seek professional help

If all the tips above don’t help the situation, your hubby might need professional help.

So discuss with him about seeing a professional.

Hopefully, you can get to the bottom of the issue.

And begin to heal.

Let’s wrap it up!

So that’s my two cents on why your husband prefers his hand over you.

And what to do to get your man back in the sheets with you.

Thanks for reading.

If you find this post helpful, please share it.

See you in the next one.

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